Part
Two
Chapter 7:
"Perfervid P.
Perfection, At Your Service"
"Who said that?" the boys
chorused defensively.
"I did. Please direct your gaze
downward at an angle approximating minus 52.89 degrees from the horizontal
plane of your eye. There, you will be rewarded by feasting your orbicular
objects upon my visage."
"Wha-what?" said Joe, about ready
to burst into laughter.
"I think he said we can see him if we
look down," said Frank a bit doubtfully.
"That would be an excellent
interpretation of my vocabulary use, my fine young man."
"Oh! Aren't we the 'cat's meow?'"
said Joe, amused with the new stranger's manner of speech. Looking down at
his feet he saw a man who was no taller than his knees. Feigning a phony
English accent and a monocle, Joe asked who the small man was.
"Allow me to introduce myself.
'Perfervid P. Perfection.' At your service." The little man continued
to speak with the same degree of formality of his earlier speech.
"Though, the denizens of this locality prefer to refer to me as
Three-P. Considering an expected lack of couth, education, and breeding,
due to your lack of advanced years, should you find yourselves unable to
allocate the necessary cerebral attentiveness to the proper vocalization
of my moniker, then you too, may refer to me as Three-P."
"What does the middle "P"
stand for?" asked Joe, sarcastically. He was beginning to tire of the
pompous little man.
"The middle "P?" Do you,
perchance, allude to the iconographic representation between my first name
(Perfervid), and my last (Perfection)?"
"Um. If that means, 'What is your
middle name,' Yes."
"Paul." Three-P looked downcast
at this pronouncement.
"Paul?" echoed Joe. "That
doesn't quite fit with the rest, does it? Where did it come from?"
"My mother. I was named after her
favorite brother."
"Oh. I see." Though he didn't.
"We're very pleased to meet you, Mr.
Perfection, but..."
"Do call me Three-P. I understand the
obstacles to conversation presented by the apparent cumbersome nature of
my name. Even if your attentiveness and vocal dexterity have proven to be
of the highest caliber, I have grown accustomed to being referred to in
what I have come to appreciate as an endearment. A 'nick-name,' I do
believe, is the proper term."
Frank had to smile at Three-P. He had never
met anyone with so pompous a manner. "Can you tell us what is going
on around here?"
"Certainly. It would be my most
estimable pleasure to recount to you, 'The Story of Inland.'"
"Inland?" chorused Frank and Joe.
"Of course. Inland. Have you no idea
of where you are? What sort of geography do you learn in school?"
"Frank's the best student at Harmony
High," said Joe, defensively. "Have you ever heard of a place
called Inland?"
"Don't get excited, Joe. But, no, I've
never heard of such a place. On all the continents I've never seen the
name Inland."
"You certainly are not going to
see Inland on any of the continents. We lie below."
"Below?"
"Yes, yes, yes. Below." Three-P
was acting impatient. "Haven't you learned anything about the
countries that lie above and below you?"
"Well, er, um, that is,"
stammered Frank.
"We know everything that is important
about you Notinlanders."
"You do?" asked an incredulous
Joe.
"Most certainly positive."
The boys exchanged looks. Three-P went on
to recite. "Your people are heavy, bipedal organisms belonging to the
mammal group. Though you are not so highly evolved as Inlanders, some
measure of success has been yours in spreading your numbers across the
surface of the planet." Three-P paused, for effect. "Shall I
continue?"
The boys nodded, yes.
"You consume vast amounts of energy in
traveling to, and fro. Your dwellings are multi-storied in some places and
inefficiently built in others. Your race delights in covering the ground
with hard, impervious surfaces, when they should be involved in the
production of spheroid plantaceous material for the sustenance of
Inlanders. Such was the agreement entered into between your people and
mine during the time of the earth boring through which you entered."
"Fascinating," Joe said,
facetiously.
"I knew you would find it thus. Should
you have need for further elucidation, please do not hesitate to inquire
of my services."
"There is one thing you could tell
us."
Three-P inflated his tiny chest. He was
trying to look important. It reminded Joe of the male pigeons. They puff
out their chests in an attempt to impress the females. "You may
present your question."
"Would you please tell us why we were
brought here?"
"Am I to comprehend you wish
information on the raison d'etat for your sojourn to Inland?"
"Yes!" cried Joe, exhibiting his
impatience. He had been hopping on one foot, then the other, during
Three-P's recitation. The little fellow took too long to say anything. Joe
imagined that if anyone asked Three-P, "What time is it?" he
would tell them how to build a clock.
Three-P cast an imperious look at Joe which
quelled the boy at once.
"In our country, size is simple,"
said Three-P. The bigger you are, the taller you are."
"That makes sense," said Joe.
"It's like that everywhere you go."
"No. Negative. Absence of the
affirmative. I'm afraid you don't understand. Let me explain."
"We're all ears," smirked Joe.
Three-P ignored the comment. Frank's elbow gave him a nudge in the ribs.
"Stature is tied to accomplishments.
If you do something positive, you grow in proportion to the usefulness of
your accomplishments. Thus, the person who helps society the most becomes
taller. By becoming taller, they are better able to help society. They are
referred to as Big People."
"Why are you so small?" asked
Frank. "I can't imagine you being less helpful than the Dweeb."
"The Who? Dweeb, you say? What sort of
term is that?" Frank and Joe looked at their feet. Sensing there
would be no reply to his question, Three-P continued, "You must mean
Dwayne, the Inlander who brought you here."
"Sure; Dwayne. What has he done that
you haven't?"
"All in good time, my friend. In good
time. Let me see. Where was I?" He considered a moment, little chin
on his little palm. "Oh, yes. I remember."
"The problem with Big People is they
require more food. This is not actually a problem, you see, for the bigger
a person is, the more work they can do. The more work they do, the greater
their contribution to society.
"You've seen our machines? Yes, I
thought Dwayne would show you. They provide the power which runs Inland.
It takes a big person to be in charge of such responsibility. Without the
machines we would be unable to dig the tunnels. Without the tunnels, we
would have no food. Dwayne was foreman of the machines until the Big
Cheese replaced him." The boys exchanged glances. "But, I
digress.
"A person's size is actually easy to
control. Any society has rules and, no matter how good you are, invariably
you break a rule. Depending on how big a rule you break, or how you break
it, your stature is diminished. It is important to remember that Inlanders
are, intrinsically, nice. They will not go out of their way to be involved
with reciprocatingly evil activities.
"In this manner, tasks are recycled.
Someone is always rising in eminence while another was on their way down.
We all make mistakes, you know. It isn't possible to act properly all the
time. We are not unthinking beings; please do not misinterpret. However,
it is possible to be careless. Such things happen to even the humblest
people."
Frank and Joe assumed Three-P was talking
about Perfervid P. (for Paul) Perfection.
"Not long ago, a person of devious
means worked his way into being a Big Person. This person discovered a way
to make the merit system for his own, devious, means. He convinced others
to follow his path and corrupted the law. They were able to change the
laws so what was good is now bad and vice versa.
"Some Inlanders, as mentioned
previously, of looser morality, were won over to this new way of life.
Others, yours truly included, refused to participate in such a society. It
became impossible for us to grow. We're stuck.
"Currently, the only way to grow is to
appease the Big Cheese. People who fall into disfavor are beaten back down
into molecules or atoms. They are so small they cannot be seen. That was
what happened to Dwayne. He is still alive, just small. It will take him a
long time to get back to size."
Frank interrupted. "I still don't see
how we fit into all this. Why did the Dweeb, ah, Dwayne that is, come for
us?"
"The Big Cheese sent for you. Dwayne
was his messenger. He belongs to the Loyal Odor of the Onyquinn."
"Don't you mean, Loyal Order?"
asked Joe.
"No. I mean Odor."
"Oh. And the Loyal Odor works for the
Big Cheese?" asked Joe, trying to redeem himself in the little man's
eyes.
"Absolutely not!" exclaimed
Three-P. "We are against him and everything he does!"
The "Loyal Odor of the Onyquinn"
was a secret society. At first, Inlanders had tried to oppose the Big
Cheese through normal means. They had suffered terrible defeats.
They now worked quietly with subterfuge.
They were getting successful in convincing the people of the righteousness
of their cause. Dwayne was an original member. He had gone "under
cover," working for the Big Cheese so he would become a Big Person
and be trusted with important missions. Like the one that brought Frank
and Joe to Inland.
"No one knows the purpose of the
mission. All that is known is its importance. The Odor conspired to
subvert the Big Cheese but we don't know why. Do you have any idea why the
Big Cheese would want to see you?" To Three-P's disappointment, the
boys shook their heads, "No."
"There has been a new weapon
introduced by the Big Cheese. It is a creature of great strength and
ferociousness. It has a horrible temper and is used to keep the smaller
people in line. Especially the ones who are dissidents.
"It is getting harder and harder to
grow because the Big Cheese makes more rules which are easy to break. In
the meantime, he gets bigger and bigger and consumes more food. All his
Cronies are the same.
"Some Inlanders think the Big Cheese
is so big that he cannot do anything on his own anymore. That is why he
needs the new creature, Timba."
"Timba?"
"Timba. Also, the Big Cheese continues
eating up all the food we have."
"Is this Timba getting bigger
too?"
"Yes it is. And it is hungry all the
time! Believe me when I say that most of us are beginning to fear for our
lives. The Big Cheese rewards his pet with food and complements, so it
grows."
"What is the main food around here,
anyway?" Joe was looking around the corridor. "I mean, all I've
seen are these hallways and the machine room. If it wasn't for these light
bulbs, it would be darker than the inside of a cow around here."
For an answer, Three-P reached into his
pocket and pulled out a round object. It was about the size of a marble.
He showed it to the boys. "This is an Onyquinn." He pronounced
in on-yee-quinn. "They come in various sizes. This is a modest
representative."
Frank and Joe exchanged glances.
"Onions?"
"Where do you get them," Joe
asked.
"There are tunnels which we dig close
to the surface. I explained this earlier. The machines in the room you saw
provide energy to equip the lighting apparatus and the digging equipment
we use."
"Then what?"
Three-P looked blankly back at the boys.
It dawned on Frank, first. Excitedly, he
turned to Joe and ejaculated, "They eat onions!"
"Quite a delicacy," chimed in
their short companion. "Care for one? No? Then you don't mind if I
do?"
"No, go ahead," Frank replied,
the excitement still thick in his voice. Joe was still standing bewildered
at his side.
"O.K. Maybe I'm the dumb one in the
group. Do you want to tell me what you're so happy about?"
"Don't you get it, Joe? They eat
onions."
"Yeah. Three-P said so. Big
deal."
"They dig tunnels near the surface.
Under the onion fields. They're like gopher tunnels. Do you get it
now?"
In a moment, Joe saw what Frank was telling
him. A big grin spread across his face. "Onions!" he shouted
with glee. The great onion caper: solved!"
Neither the boys nor Three-P had realized
how their voices had risen during the onion discussion. Now, Three-P was
holding his finger in front of his lips, shushing them. He was encouraging
them to keep their voices down. His thin, reedy voice was entreating them
to be quiet. It took a moment for the boys to hear him since they were
unaccustomed to looking down at that level.
Finally, they got back on track. Frank
remembered the danger they could be in if they were discovered by the Big
Cheese.
"What about us," he asked.
"Are we in danger of shrinking or growing?" Frank was beginning
to feel a bit taller than usual. He wasn't sure if the passageway was
shrinking or he was growing. Or, maybe it was standing next to Three-P
that made him feel that way.
"No. Only a Big Person can award the
complements that will make a person grow. They all carry sticks which they
use to beat people back down to size. Stay out of their way and you will
be safe."
Good advice, but given too late. A large
shadow fell across them. When the boys looked up, they were staring into
the eyes of the largest tabby they'd ever seen. It had stalked them from
behind them, out of the light. "Look out Three-P! Run, Frank!"
exclaimed Joe.
The cat grinned, as much as a cat can, and
licked its chops. Then, mouth open, it reached down to grab them like they
were mice.
Chapter 8:
Captured by "The Big
Cheese"
"Welcome, my Notinlander
Friends!" came the loud, yet muted, voice of the giant before them.
He made the Dweeb seem like an ant. This fellow was big! He occupied
almost the whole barn-sized room they were standing in. There was a little
bit of room for Frank and Joe to stand. One of the Giant's Cronies stood
by the door. He held a stick which looked identical to the one that had
beaten Dwayne.
The Big Man looked very uncomfortable. To
fit inside the room he had to sit, leaning forward until his head touched
his feet. Sweat, from his brow, ran down his nose and pooled under his
chin. A mud puddle had formed. Each drop of sweat fell into the puddle and
spattered mud on the Giant's neck.
There were signs that the room had seen
recent construction. No doubt the chamber needed to reflect the big man's
increase in size. The earthen floor and walls had fresh shovel marks. In
front of the Giant was a large pile of onyquinns from which he freely
snacked.
The man's bulk had the effect of soaking up
the sound of his voice the moment it left his mouth. There was just enough
force for it to reach the boys before the sound dried up. They felt the
vibrations of words and the man's breath like the pulse of a drum beat.
Actually, they smelled his breath.
"I think he eats too many
onions," whispered Joe.
"I am the Big Cheese! You may call me
Mr. Cheese!" he announced. His breath fell on them like a heavy
curtain. When the sound of the Big Cheese's voice died away into his
blubber, all that remained was his pungent breath.
Frank surmised it was a good idea not to
antagonize anyone large enough to squash him like a bug. "We're
pleased to meet you," said Frank politely as possible. His hand
covered his nose, attempting to filter out the foul smell. He tried not to
take deep breaths.
"What happened to Three-P?"
demanded Joe. Frank tried to shush him, but the headstrong teen-ager went
on. "He didn't do anything wrong, you know. Where did that cat take
him?"
"Cat? No, we have no cats here. We
have Timba."
"You mean the big gray thing with the
sharp teeth?" replied Joe. "You must have some pretty big mice
around here to have a cat that size."
"Timba is more than a cat! Timba is
"Lord of the Jungle!" Timba comes from Notinland! Like
you!"
"Bougainvillaea!" exclaimed Joe.
"I knew that rascal looked familiar."
"Boo-gen, who?" asked the Big
Cheese.
"Oh, nothing," replied Joe. His
thoughts were turning fast, wondering how the cat had got down here.
Based on what Three-P had told him, Joe
knew how the cat had become so big. What he really wanted to know was if
the cat remembered him. More importantly, Joe began to wonder if his pet
had retained any feelings of affection for his master. It's so hard to
tell with cats sometimes. Joe realized he needed to tell Frank about this.
But how. When?
The smell of old, partially digested onions
was beginning to be overpowering. The unpleasant quality of the air was
getting to be more than Frank could stand. "Can we go outside?"
he asked.
The Big Cheese looked incredulous. "I
never leave this room!"
"Why not?"
"Because I can't! I'm too big!"
Frank almost felt sorry for the big man;
his voice sounded so sad. Then he remembered Three-P. Their last view of
him had been in Timba's mouth. The huge cat had picked all three of them
up. It was a wonder the sharp incisors of the feline hadn't done more than
scratch their skin.
Timba had taken them to the Big Cheese. The
cat had gently laid the boys down at the entrance to the Giant's chamber.
Then, the cat had trotted off with the thoroughly frightened Three-P. The
cat looked hungry. At that size, it probably had a large appetite. It
wouldn't be satisfied with onions.
"Who's fault is that?" he asked
instead.
"Not mine! Duty weighs heavily upon
me! It is the terrible burden of responsibility that has done this to
me!"
Joe snorted with contempt. Frank gave his
friend a warning glance but was chagrined to see it had no effect. Joe was
in the process of confronting the Big Cheese face to face, or at least
eyeball to eyeball when Frank caught him by the arm. "Joe!" he
said urgently, "Be cool. This guy could squash us like insects if we
get him angry. Besides, his breath is so bad it smells like something died
in his mouth."
Joe allowed himself to be restrained.
"That 'Timba' is really Bougainvillaea." Frank registered
surprise. "I don't know how the Cheese got her down here but I can
guess why she's so big. We could be in a bunch of trouble, buddy-boy, if
that cat forgets who we are."
They held a quick, whispered conference.
They would try to find out why the Big Cheese needed them. Joe promised to
control his temper. "But, we've got to find Three-P," concluded
Frank.
"You're right. He's the only one who
can help us out of this mess."
All this time the Big Cheese had been
waiting silently. His beady eyes moved from one boy to the next, trying to
follow their conversation. Now, in a burst of anger and impatience, he
demanded to know what they were talking about. "I can make it hard on
you!" he threatened. "I can make you shrink down to atoms if I
want!"
"Cool your jets," replied Joe.
Then he turned to Frank, gave him a wink and a smile, and went on.
"We were trying to decide if we would cooperate with you."
"Oh?" said the Giant, his
eyebrows arching in curiosity.
"Except, you're going to have to tell
us what you want us to do."
"Yeah," agreed Frank, following
Joe's lead. "Not to mention why you wanted us in the first
place."
"Well, that's easy!" The Big
Cheese was suspicious, though. "What did Three-P tell you?"
"Nothing," the boys announced
together. The Giant looked doubtful. The bellows effect of his lips
opening and closing, while he thought, sent pulses of onion breath at the
boys.
"O.K!" he said at last. "But
it's a secret! Don't tell anyone!"
"We promise," said Frank.
The Big Cheese lowered his voice but
neither of the boys found any reason to move closer. His request was
simple, the Giant said. Return to the surface and bring back more cats.
"Cats are what Inland needs!"
"Why do you want so many cats? Do you
have a problem with mice?" Frank queried.
"Yes. Mice like Perfervid P.
Perfection and his friends!" the Big Cheese roared suddenly. Then he
tried to check his anger and continue. With a conspiratorial tone of voice
the Big Cheese said, "I read your name on the cat collar,"
directing his breath at Joe. "Do you have any others? They are quite
effective at controlling vermin in the tunnels!"
"I don't think so," said Joe.
"Why don't you go up and get them yourself?"
"It is not a good idea. We don't know
where the cats reside! It was dangerous enough to summon you! You will do
this task for us! I will reward you handsomely!"
The Big Cheese paused to fill his cavernous
mouth with more onyquinns. The sound of his teeth mashing the little bulbs
was nerve-racking to the teen-agers. What if the Big Cheese wasn't a
vegetarian?
In return for supplying Inland with cats,
the Big Cheese promised to award Joe and Frank with a bushel of onyquinns,
each, for every cat. "We consider that quite a prize down here!"
"Why do you really want them?"
Frank prodded. I haven't seen evidence of any mice."
"That's none of your business!"
Suddenly suspicious, The Big Cheese asked, "That twit Three-P told
you something! What was it?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all," the
boys replied.
But the Big Cheese didn't trust them. With
a roar he called for his Cronies. The haranguer from the machinery room,
stick in hand, grabbed the teen-agers by their collars and hauled them
outside. "Give them to Timba! Have her take them to the
dungeon!"
As the boys were hauled away they heard the
Big Cheese jeering, "We'll see how a little time in jail changes
their attitude about helping me!"
Chapter 9:
Bad News
Timba carried Frank and Joe gently to the
dungeon. It wasn't a pleasant ride though. Imagine how you would feel held
by teeth as sharp as knives. Consider that the force required by a set of
jaws to carry two, healthy, teen-aged boys is slightly less than what is
necessary to bite those same people.
She let them down in front of a narrow
doorway, then nudged them with her head to enter. Inside, they were
relieved and pleased to see Three-P. He warmly embraced them around the
shins. He appeared to be a few inches shorter than the last time they had
shared company.
"Yes, I am afraid your observation has
a striking veracity in conjunction with the truth," he squeaked.
"My castigation at the hands of these philistines could have had more
dire consequences though. I suppose I should be indebted to the Big Cheese
that it isn't any worse. I could be like poor Dwayne. He's in here, with
us, somewhere."
The boys experienced a momentary feeling of
panic. "Should we watch were we walk?" asked Frank with concern
deep in his voice.
"That is not imperative. Dwayne is
riding on the shoulders of our fellow captives."
Frank and Joe took a moment to look around
their prison. They were in an enormous room lacking in any kind of
furniture. A group of about 30 Inlanders, of various stature between seven
and two feet were congregated along one side. There was no telling if any
shorter people were there; the lights were very dim.
Three-P explained to the boys that this was
a detention area. The Big Cheese liked having all the "trouble
makers" in one place. "He can decide what to do with us at his
leisure. Rest assured, each of us will be beaten down to molecules, if not
atoms."
Frank commented that it didn't look like
the Big Cheese could do much of anything except eat onyquinns. He recalled
the size of the Giant and the lack of space in the newly enlarged room.
"You are directly in the affirmative
with that expression of your observations. However, he has Timba to
enforce his edicts as well as several others who have subscribed to his
doctrine."
"How many, exactly, are we up
against?" asked Frank.
"In the manner of eight, I should
think if I were required to broach an estimate to the general
public."
Frank couldn't believe there were so few
Cronies enlisted in the cause of the Big Cheese. "How was it possible
to change all the laws? Did the Inlanders really allow someone to make
decrees that were so against their beliefs?"
"It was quite simple. We Inlanders are
a kind and trusting people. When the Big Cheese first ascended to Big
Personhood, we naturally thought his ideas were best for all Inlanders.
Little did we know the Cheese had ulterior motives. When he said the laws
must change, we supported it."
"What would happen if you could
assemble all the Inlanders? Could you have another election and change the
laws back to the way they were before the Big Cheese messed it all
up?"
"I do believe you have something
there, my wonderfully fine-tuned young man!" exclaimed Three-P with
more excitement than Frank had ever seen in the little man. "What a
growth inducing statement that is!" he added. "There must be
some reason no one has thought of this before."
"What's all the shouting about?"
Joe had returned from exploring their jail. He had met their fellow
prisoners. All were in poor spirits. Frank quickly filled him in on his
latest idea.
Joe agreed that was the best course of
action. He had one bit of information both Frank and Three-P were dismayed
to learn. "We better do something soon. Fred Fafoothnick, over
there," Joe indicated the tallest Inlander standing by the opposite
wall, "says we're in danger of a food shortage."
"How can that be?"
"Fred says that the Big Cheese and his
Cronies are so big they eat almost every onyquinn that is harvested. He
ended up in jail because he complained. He told the Big Cheese that the
rate of onyquinn consumption was exceeding the rate of harvest. Soon,
there won't be enough onyquinns to go around."
"This is most distressing to the
highest degree. There have always been more than enough. Ever since the
founding of Inland, we have only taken what was necessary of the onyquinn
crop from you Notinlanders which was necessary for our sustenance. It has
been a guiding principle of our society to use only what we need. In this
way we fulfilled our compact with your forefathers. They insured that
onyquinns would always be planted for our harvest."
"What was the cause of the issuance of
such a decree?" asked Frank. Three-P paused before answering, not
certain if Frank was making fun of his peculiar manner of speech. For his
part, Frank was beginning to feel Three-P was rubbing off on him. Pretty
soon he would be talking like the little man all the time!
Three-P finally explained, "The terms
of the agreement were quite plain. Long ago, before any of us were born,
Notinlanders dug the tunnel through which you entered. They happened upon
one of our food storage facilities. Oh, there were many Inlanders upset
with this invasion. To avert catastrophe it was decided: in exchange for
providing us with the delicacy we so enjoy, Inlanders would furnish the
proper soil conditioning agents to insure Notinlander plant materials were
successful."
"You mean," said Frank,
"that Inland provides the fertilizer for our trees and grass?"
"No. I hasten to elaborate that more
is involved in the growing of plant materials than photons of light
energy, soil, and water."
This was intriguing to Frank. He was well
aware that the building blocks of all life on earth depended on
photosynthesis. This is the process of capturing light energy by plants
which then make their own food. Soil provided nutrients and a place for
roots, so a plant wouldn't fall over, since it had no legs. All living
things needed water. He couldn't think of what Three-P meant. What else of
importance was there?
"It is quite elementary. By living in
the soil, as we do, Inlanders provide the infusion, or breath of
existence, which is invested in all life."
Frank didn't really see Three-P's
explanation as being all that elementary. There wasn't time to ask him to
expand on what he said. Frank made a mental note to ask for more details
when the time was ripe. For now, Joe was impatiently tapping on his
shoulder.
"We need to start planning on how to
get out of here."
There was only one way in and they could
easily see the face of Timba through the portal. They felt trapped like
mice. The cat looked larger than she did during their first encounter with
her underground.
"Yes," Three-P said, confirming
their observation. "She is getting larger all the time. And hungrier
as well. Many of us are worried she will be consuming her next meal
forthwith."
"What do you mean?" asked Joe.
"She's a cat. If she doesn't eat Crystal Star Tuna from a can, then
she'll eat mice and birds. That's what a cat does."
"That may be so in Notinland where you
reside, my fine friend. To the contrary, here, there is much to concern
us. You have noted Timba's fantastic size increase, no doubt."
"Yes. And?"
"You are, also, I must presume, aware
that larger animals are required to consume vastly different quantities of
carbohydrates and proteins than those creatures of a smaller
dimensions."
"What's your point, Three-P?"
"Simply this. When Timba was of a more
diminutive size, only a short elapse of time ago, her hunger and natural
hunting instincts were sufficient in eliminating the resident population
of ground burrowing mammals with which we shared our tunnels.
"As I have questioned, and you have
stated, in the exceedingly recent past, Timba has grown. With that
increase in size will, no doubt, arrive a concomitant increase in food
requirements. With naught but Inlanders within reasonable reach, we have
reason to fear for our lives!"
"Bougainvillaea would never eat
us," exclaimed a shocked Joe.
"Who is this Bougainvillaea?"
"Timba."
"I fear I lack in the complete
understanding of our conversation to interpret correctly the meaning of
your previous statement."
"Tell him, Frank." Joe was
beginning to feel a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. It didn't
go away when he looked to the only door out of the dungeon. Bougainvillaea
was beginning to exhibit what Joe interpreted as a hungry look in her eye.
Chapter 10:
A Plan for Getting Out
While Joe tried to re-establish a
relationship with his immense cat, Frank and Three-P called their fellow
prisoners together for a meeting. They briefly explained where the boys
had come from, the reason they had been brought to Inland, and the plan
for overthrowing the Big Cheese. Fred reiterated his concern for the food
supply.
An older Inlander, Hildeeharhar
Hammernocker agreed that an election to reverse the Big Cheese's laws was
a good idea. "But," she said, "as chairman of the election
board, I must tell you it will be necessary to assemble the entire
population for the election. That is how we do things here, young
man."
"I knew there was a reason we hadn't
done this before," exclaimed Three-P. "The Big Cheese won't let
large groups assemble. He says it's bad for our health. Humph!"
"Thank you Miss Hammernocker. Three-P
and I didn't realize that."
"Ms. Hammernocker. You're very
welcome, young man."
"Ms. Hammernocker." Frank was
amazed at how similar their two worlds were. There were just enough
differences to make it interesting. "Does anyone have an idea on how
to do that?"
Fred spoke up, "We'll have to do it
next to the Big Cheese. He's too big to move now."
"But how will we all fit into the room
with him?"
"How many Inlanders are there?"
Frank asked.
There was a general mumbling amongst the
crowd. Finally someone said, "A lot."
"A lot? How many is that?"
"Definitely more than a little."
"Three-P, I thought you said that
Inlanders only took what was necessary of the onyquinn crops. How can you
do that unless you know how many of you there are?"
Three-P looked embarrassed. It was
difficult for the little man to admit he didn't have all the answers. He
mumbled something about "The question was never asked so how can I be
expected to know the answer?"
Fred Fafoothnick, the onyquinn harvester
explained, "Big People have always been assumed to know about these
things. It's their responsibility."
"You're a Big Person, Fred. How many
Inlanders are there?"
Now it was time for Fred to look
embarrassed. "Um," was all he said.
"I think I understand. You thought
someone else knew and that it was their responsibility, right?"
Fred nodded his head, as did some of the
others. "There's so much to know, Frank. I guess the rest of us just,
sort of, forgot to pay attention."
Once again, Frank was impressed at how
similar Inland was to his home. "Does anyone have an estimate,
then?"
Three-P was quick to speak. "We could
all fit inside this room." Lots of heads moved up and down. "Of
course, we would have to be careful. Some Inlanders are quite small."
Once again, many heads moved up and down.
"O.K. Then here's what we'll do. Fred,
Three-P, and some others will be in charge of rounding up all the
Inlanders. How many will you need to help?"
Three-P and Fred held a hurried
consultation. There was much arm waving and finger wagging before they
decided on a number. Then, it was agreed that Ms. Hammernocker was to take
five assistants to prepare the proper paperwork for the election. "We
must be very very very legal, young man," she admonished.
Frank and Joe would be in charge of
creating a disturbance so their compatriots could accomplish their tasks.
It was hoped that the Big Cheese's Cronies would be drawn away to
concentrate on the boys. The others could then accomplish their tasks. The
teens would draw the Cronies to the chamber of the Big Cheese. The vote
would then be held. Lots of Inlanders would have to wait out in the halls,
but many would be able to fit inside with the Cheese. Ms. Hammernocker
felt that would satisfy the election laws.
"There is only one problem,"
spoke up Jillian Bee. Jillian was a tall onyquinn allocator who was
imprisoned when she refused to shortchange Inlanders of their fair share.
"How do we get past Timba?"
All eyes gravitated to the door. There they
saw Joe holding a regular sized tabby in his arms. The cat was purring
loudly as the boy scratched behind her ears.
Chapter 11:
Victory
Joe was instantly surrounded by over 30
people, all shouting and slapping him on the back. The congratulations ran
around him like he was a boulder in a deep river. No one was as proud of
him as Frank. "How did you do it?"
When it was quiet, Joe explained. "It
was easy. I remembered something Three-P said to us." All eyes turned
to the perfervidous little man but his face was a blank. "Remember
when we asked him, Frank, if you and I should be worried about shrinking
or growing?"
"He said we wouldn't have to worry as
long as we stayed away from Big People. Big People were the only ones who
could praise or censure." Frank smiled, inwardly. He was
beginning to pick up some of Three-P's vocabulary!
"Right."
"But," said Jillian, "you
are, that is, were, so much smaller than Timba."
"That's true. Except, you're only
thinking about my height, not my stature!"
Three-P cut into Joe's explanation. "I
comprehend what Joe is conveying to us! Notinlander's stature amongst cats
is very big. Isn't that within the venues of validity, Joe?"
"Exactly. Even though I was smaller
than Timba, she was still my cat, Bougainvillaea. Once I
started talking to her and realized she remembered me, the rest as simple.
I told her she was a "bad cat" for helping out the Big Cheese.
She didn't want to hear it, but she shrank a bit. While the rest of you
were making plans for what to do after we got out of here, I was able to
get her down to normal size."
Congratulations were offered once again.
Joe felt himself grow, if not in size, then at least in the eyes of his
many new friends. "Well, there's work to be done, isn't there? Let's
get to it!"
With that encouragement, the small band put
their plans into action.
Three-P, Fred, and the others gathered up
all the Inlanders and prepared to rendezvous at the Big Cheese's quarters.
Frank made an appearance in the machinery room and soon had half the
Cronies in pursuit. Joe had done the same in the onyquinn tunnels. They
allowed themselves to be captured and brought to the Big Cheese.
Joe still held Bougainvillaea in his arms
when the boys confronted the Giant. His bulk had doubled and his chambers
had grown immeasurably. The boys were certain that many Inlanders would be
able to fit into these new, spacious quarters.
"What have you done to Timba?"
the Big Cheese demanded.
"Turned her back into a good cat,
that's what!" retorted Joe. "Something you wouldn't know
about."
The Big Cheese shook with rage. Even his
Cronies shrank back to avoid the burst of rank onion breath that
splattered against the walls. "I'll have you reduced to atoms for
this!" he ranted. "There will be nothing left of you but quarks
when I'm done with you!"
"I think not."
"Who said that!"
"I did." It was the simplest
speech Three-P had ever delivered. He stood, all three feet of him, in the
doorway to the Giant's quarters. His arms were folded, resolutely, across
his chest. Behind him, filling the corridor, Frank and Joe could see the
assembled people of Inland.
"Seize him!" shouted the Big
Cheese. He even attempted to move his fat, meaty hand to do the chore
himself. There just wasn't enough space in the room for him to accomplish
that.
Inlanders filed into the room and filled up
every bit of available space. Some of the Cronies tried to resist but they
were quickly quelled and their sticks taken away.
"Your days of being a Big Person are
through!" said the little man. His voice was firm and unwavering as
he announced the special election, all within the laws of Inland. The Big
Cheese and his Cronies were frozen into inaction by Three-P's audacity.
"As all members of Inland are gathered
here in order to decide if the Big Person who has come to call himself,
Big Cheese, is worthy to be our leader," intoned Ms. Hammernocker.
"All in favor of getting rid of the fat slob, say 'Aye.'"
A loud chorus of "Aye,"
reverberated in the chamber. "All opposed?" asked Ms.
Hammernocker. Not a voice was raised, though the Big Cheese did whimper a
bit.
"Then, the motion is carried!"
Hildeeharhar Hammernocker turned to the former Big Cheese and announced,
"You're no longer leader of Inland, you big buffoon. Now, get out of
our way so someone with the best interests of us all can be in
charge."
Then, right before their eyes, Frank and
Joe saw the Big Cheese shrink down to the size of a mouse. All his Cronies
did too. They scampered out of the room to the sounds of Inlanders joyful
laughing.
Everyone was jumping up and down, slapping
each other on the back, and, generally speaking, having a good time. Four
or five Inlanders were hugging Frank and Joe, shaking their hands, when
Joe felt Bougainvillaea leap free.
Chapter 12:
Going Home
All the people of Inland assembled to wish
Frank and Joe a safe journey home. Even though it was a short walk back to
the land of light, the boys appreciated the sentiment. Three-P, looking
almost as tall as the teen-agers was to be their official guide.
He was unanimously elected Inland leader
following the Big Cheese's overthrow. Three-P's first act of office was in
awarding Dwayne a special citation for action "above and beyond the
call of duty" for his bravery in bringing the boys to Inland. He had
known all along that to admit failure in that task would mean being beaten
down to atoms by the Big Cheese's Cronies. Already, Dwayne was a foot
high. The boys were sure that it wouldn't be long before he was a Big
Person.
Bougainvillaea was safely in the arms of
Joe once more. She had been recovered in one of the onyquinn harvesting
tunnels by Jillian Bee. Bougainvillaea had allowed herself to be lifted
and taken back to Joe without problem.
She had experienced a long and trying day
since first falling off the tree branch. Poor girl, she was very tired and
rested comfortably against Joe's chest. She had eaten quite a bit today
and it was beginning to catch up with her. She would snooze, her head
cradled by Joe's arm, until it was time to go.
The last anyone had seen of the Big Cheese
and his Cronies, the cat was chasing them out of the chambers. Where they
were, now, was anybody's guess. Some had a pretty good idea where to look
for them.
In his official capacity, Three-P escorted
Frank and Joe from the Big Cheese chambers through the passageways leading
to the Notinland world. They paused, briefly, at the door to say farewell.
Three-P thanked the boys, again, for all they had done to help Inland.
Hand on the doorknob, Joe had a question.
"I still don't understand how I could breathe under water when Dwayne
first brought us here. And, how did all the water disappear when we got
down here? There wasn't an airlock as far as I could see."
Three-P chuckled before replying. "You
simply allowed the delusion brought by ignorance to cloud your judgement.
As I am sure Dwayne explained to you, what you see is not always the
truth. Truth requires examination below the surface before one can say it
is known."
Joe wasn't sure he understood what Three-P
meant, but he was willing to listen. He stored away, in the back of his
mind, what the man had said, determined to sort it all out later.
"Just as long as I don't have to hold my breath for the return
trip!"
"Don't worry; you'll be fine."
Frank had a question also. "Three-P,
could you explain what you meant about the Inlander's contribution to
plant growth? If you aren't involved with fertilizing the ground,
providing water, light, or nutrients, what exactly do you do?"
"As I am sure you are aware, all life
requires oxygen. Animals must breathe; you do it all the time and it is
such a natural act you are not even aware of it. The earth is alive also
and must breathe."
"And, you mean..."
"Exactly. Inland is that breath."
Frank wasn't sure he understood any better
than before. Three-P, on the other hand, was content to end the matter
there. "Goodbye, my friends. Inland will always remember you.
Goodbye." With that, Three-P closed the door. It moved on
well-greased hinges.
In a moment, Frank, Joe, and Bougainvillaea
were out of the tunnel and into the light. Looking back from whence they
came, Joe examined the pool of water. It was as he remembered it always to
be. He knelt down and dipped his hand, releasing the cat, and tasted the
water. His hand came back dry. I think I'm beginning to see what Three-P
meant, he said to himself.
"What do you say about coming over to
my house, Frank? You can call your parents and tell them you're staying
for dinner."
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